by Peggy Mitchell Norwood
The year is more than half over. It seems like just yesterday I was making my New Year’s resolutions. What about you? Did you plan to exercise more, eat better, quit smoking, or clear your clutter? If you are like most people, you were really enthusiastic for a few days, and then, well, other things got in the way. Summer is the perfect time to revisit your goals for 2009 and evaluate your plan for accomplishing them before the year is over.
Psychologists believe that if you do something for twenty-one days, it will become a habit. Sounds easy, right? The hard part is sticking to something for twenty-one days. If you are having trouble, it helps to step back and re-evaluate what you are doing. If you are not getting the results you want, you are going to have to make some changes. You can’t have something different if you fail to DO something different.
Drs. James Prochaska, John Norcross, and Carlo DiClemente have developed one of the most widely studied theories of change. Their Transtheoretical Model of Change centers around five stages that you must go through in order to experience change: precontemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance.
According to Prochaska, Norcross, and Diclimente, in the precontemplation stage, you are not thinking about or interested in changing. In the contemplation stage, you are thinking about changing and evaluating the pros and cons, but you have not yet taken any steps. In the preparation stage, you begin to develop a plan of what you will do to achieve your desired goals. In the action stage, you are actually taking steps to change. And, finally, in the maintenance stage, you take action only as needed to prevent slipping back or having a relapse.
Prochaska, Norcross, and DiClemente have applied their stages of change to behaviors such as smoking, overeating, drinking, and drug addiction. They have concluded that interventions should be matched to your current stage. In other words, if you want to successfully change your behavior, you need to use a strategy that is consistent with the stage you are in. For example, you would never use a free sample of a nicotine patch that you got in the mail (action) if you are not interested in quitting smoking to begin with (precontemplation). However, if you are in the action stage, using a nicotine patch might be an effective step to take.
If you have gotten off track with your New Year’s resolutions, it is likely that you have encountered problems in the action and/or maintenance stages. You may also have failed to develop an effective plan to begin with in the preparation stage. It’s not too late to remedy this. Here are some suggestions to get you started:
Be honest with yourself. Exactly what changes were you hoping to make at the start of the year? Are these changes realistic? What is really getting in your way? Lying to yourself keeps you stuck in the very patterns that prevent you from changing. Answering these questions honestly paves the way to making the changes you want to make.
Keep a journal. Journaling is a valuable tool for being honest. It allows you to vent your thoughts in a safe and confidential way. It also provides distance from the intensity of overwhelming emotions and imposes order and clarity on jumbled thoughts. Most significantly, journaling is a record of all of your challenges as well as your progress. Seeing in writing where you are not only helps you identify your stumbling blocks, but it also helps you to recognize how far you’ve come.
Share with at least one other person. I also encourage you to find at least one other trustworthy person with whom you can share your struggles and successes. Sharing will provide you with accountability, encouragement, and validation. Getting someone else’s perspective also provides you with valuable insights to help you to overcome the barriers you are facing.
Go easy on yourself. Just because you haven’t kept up with your goals is no reason to beat yourself up. Extend yourself some grace. Give yourself permission to start over and take the next small step in the right direction.
Develop a plan and implement it. Once you get a handle on where you have gotten off track, you can develop a strategy to get back on track. Remember, you’ll need to match your interventions with the stage you are in. Are you really ready to change? (Take the Change Quotient Test and find out). Go back to the contemplation stage and review the pros and cons. It’s OK if you’re not ready. After all, change is scary, change is hard, and change comes at a cost. If you conclude that you are ready, you may also need to re-visit the preparation stage and develop a totally new plan. Be sure to consider a maintenance plan, too, so you can keep the changes you make. Someone once said, “Failig to plan is planning to fail.”
You still have several more months to work on your 2009 resolutions before it’s time to start thinking about 2010. I hope these tips will help you to do something different, and keep the change. Persevere!
©2009 Peggy Mitchell Norwood | All Rights Reserved
To learn more about how to experience lasting change, visit my website at www.DoSomethingDifferentNow.com
This article was first published in the Fulton Kentucky News
